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At my father’s 60th birthday party, my three-year-old daughter Lily walked into the kitchen, opened the cooler, and grabbed a soda because she was thirsty. My father came in right behind her and snapped, “That’s mine. You don’t touch things in my house without asking.” Lily looked up at him and said in that tiny, nervous voice children use when they know an adult is upset, “I’m sorry, Grandpa. I didn’t know.” He shouted, “So you think you can just take whatever you want?” Then he yanked off his belt and swung it at her.